We all crave better relationships. Relationships give life meaning. When these essential connections go awry, it affects all of life, including your health and wellbeing. Unsolicited advice harms relationships. While we often enjoy giving it, this unrequested guidance often steals vitality and joy from both the giver and the recipient.
We have all been on both sides of this equation and it can be a real pitfall as you gain information and see results in the area of health. As you find strategies that increase your own zest for life, you will be tempted to, with good intentions, share these with other people. I’ve made this mistake too many times! I may know exactly what somebody needs to do to solve their problem or pain, but if they don’t specifically ask for my opinion, I will harm the relationship by giving input. While unsolicited advice may be your cultural norm, here are some reasons to reconsider it:
Most advice is based on the giver’s own experience. Therefore, the conclusions that they share may not be applicable to the recipient. People are often just wanting to vent and not actually looking for anyone to solve their dilemma. Listening and reflecting what they are expressing is the kindest thing you can do!To give good advice, the advice has to be specifically requested. They have to be an “open receptor.” In the body, there can be high levels of serotonin, for example. But, if there are no open receptors to accept that serotonin, it is of no benefit.
The only way to give appropriate advice is to sincerely empathize with the recipient and try to see the problem from their angle based on their own vision for life when you are specifically asked for it. You may be totally right in what you want to tell them but unsolicited advice harms relationships and relationships are what matters.
“In trying to help, we can actually harm, by forcing someone else to receive something they did not ask for. Also, when we insist on giving advice to someone who has not asked us, we are actually giving it to ourselves.” (Alejandro Jodorowsky)
None of us intentionally want to be a “know-it-all-ogist” but we can easily fall into that trap. START SOMEWHERE today being more aware of unsolicited advice, both as the giver and as the recipient. Nurture the relationships in your life by just putting on lip balm unless you are specifically asked for guidance. When your relationships are healthier, your body will be too! You can do it. I will help you.
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